1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:05,005
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
2
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,092
The ship is totally repaired!
3
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,844
We can finally leave this shithole planet
4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,638
and find a good one
that Pupa can terraform.
5
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,181
Then we can grow more Shlorpians
6
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,683
from the seeds we have stored
in the cryopods.
7
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,186
So long, Earth suckers.
Enjoy the melting ice caps.
8
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:20,896
I hope the combustion engine was worth it.
9
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:24,066
‐ Goodbye, oxygen‐rich atmosphere.
Goodbye, puppies.
10
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:26,860
Goodbye, Maroon 5!
11
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,405
‐ I'm glad we're finally going to a planet
that doesn't have stupid rules,
12
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,658
like saying "excuse me" after you fart.
13
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,201
You're supposed to say it before you fart.
14
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,410
‐ This fucking sucks!
15
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,455
If I was team leader, we'd be getting
butter‐drunk at Harry P‐Land
16
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,748
and loading up on wands.
17
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,834
‐ Well, tough titties, you're not.
Everyone, strap in.
18
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,252
I'm going to activate the launch.
19
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,628
Jesse! What‐‐ what the hell is that?
20
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,463
‐ M&Ms with the olives inside.
21
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,048
They're oily and sour.
‐ Give me that!
22
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,508
Every ounce of weight matters!
23
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,093
Something this small
could set us off course
24
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,678
and straight into the sun.
25
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,137
We're back to equilibrium.
26
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,347
Launching now.
27
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,101
It's working! Wait.
28
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,728
Geek Squad, Michael speaking.
29
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,273
‐ This is Korvo the alien.
I'm calling to say fuck you, Michael.
30
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,275
You've been working on my Lenovo
for too many weeks now,
31
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,985
and you can just shove it
up your ass, Michael.
32
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,570
The Judge said you're weren't
supposed to call here anymore.
33
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,321
‐ Fuck you and fuck your whole squad,
34
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,447
and I fucked your mom.
35
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,407
Whoa! Hey‐‐
36
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,961
‐ No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
37
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,134
No, the balance was off.
38
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,927
Did someone accidentally have
a penny in their pocket
39
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,429
or a contact lens or a feather?
40
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,723
‐ I might have hidden
some stuff on the ship.
41
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,391
‐ Did it weigh more than a gram?
42
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,228
What the hell?
Bags of sand, bowling balls,
43
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:46,773
Congo pinball machine, a lifetime supply
of Silly Putty eggs?
44
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:50,819
You needed to bring the entire series run
of Cops on DVD and VHS!
45
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,946
‐ I didn't know what kind of player
the hotel would have.
46
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,074
‐ There is no hotel! Terry, you idiot!
It's‐‐ it's a empty planet.
47
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,784
This puts us right back
to where we were a year ago.
48
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,704
‐ Oh my God, make a bigger deal
about it, ya poopy!
49
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,456
‐ Yay! We're still trapped on Earth!
50
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,875
‐ Excuse me.
51
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,253
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
52
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,297
Until the asteroid hit.
53
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,509
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
54
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,302
and escaped into, uh, the space,
55
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,971
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
56
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,600
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
57
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,310
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
58
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,062
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
59
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,523
This is‐‐ this is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
60
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:28,941
This is ridiculous.
61
00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,901
I hate Earth.
It's a horrible home.
62
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,653
People are stupid.
They're always thirsty.
63
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,321
But they don't drink their own piss,
I don't get it.
64
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,073
Just drink your own piss.
65
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,292
‐ Oh yeah, they're making
Succession
66
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,087
Romans, Logans, and Purple Shivs!
67
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,505
‐ The autopilot's completely destroyed.
68
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,882
We're going to have
to re‐pilot the whole thing.
69
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,051
What is the distress detector doing
in the freezer?
70
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,719
‐ Oh, it wouldn't stop beeping.
It was driving me nuts.
71
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,972
‐ It only beeps when it receives
a Shlorpian distress call!
72
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,515
That means there's aliens
from the home world
73
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,683
somewhere in this quadrant!
74
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:03,809
How long has this been beeping?
75
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,019
‐ A year? Or a year and a half, maybe?
76
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,063
‐ Damn it, Terry! All right,
come on, we have to help them!
77
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,900
They're probably on an M‐class planet
somewhere in the Gamma sector.
78
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,151
What the hell, they're on Earth!
79
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,363
‐ Looks like the Solar Opposites
are going to London!
80
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,658
‐ I can't believe we get to use
the hover platform.
81
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,076
I thought that was a one‐time thing.
82
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,912
‐ The Solar Opposites
are hovering to London!
83
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,372
‐ Would you stop saying that.
W‐what does that even mean?
84
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,207
‐ Well, I just think we should be called
"The Solar Opposites."
85
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,458
‐ No, that's stupid.
86
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,960
Wait, where's Yumyulack and the Pupa?
87
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,546
Damn it! How are we still so bad at this?
88
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,131
Watching the Pupa is
your whole job, Terry.
89
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:36,884
‐ Don't worry, I'm sure
Yumyulack's keeping him real safe.
90
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:37,926
What could go wrong?
91
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,762
‐ I guess as long as he doesn't let
the Pupa watch Robocop again,
92
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:41,972
it'll‐‐ it'll be fine.
93
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,515
‐ Dead or alive, you're coming with me!
94
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,267
Suck my shitty tits, Robocop!
95
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:56,195
‐ Jaeden, Aaden, Braden.
Still as cool as last year, I see.
96
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,238
‐ We are, but our internal politics
have shifted.
97
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,157
This year, Jaeden is our leader.
I was demoted.
98
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,491
‐ You know, my adults are out of town.
99
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,911
If you guys want to hang at my place,
we could drink too much
100
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,163
and maybe hurt our chances
of living past 65.
101
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,999
‐ A witch said I'm gonna die at 25 anyway,
so I guess I'm down.
102
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,084
‐ Silence. Your alpha speaks.
103
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,587
Yumyulack, it'd be cool to throw
a sleepover party.
104
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,714
I decree that all cool kids will attend.
105
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,090
‐ But I thought you hated me?
106
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,301
‐ Dunking on you was a policy
of the Aaden era.
107
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,011
Since then, we all went
to Christian summer camp
108
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,763
and realized it's cool to be inclusive.
109
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,806
It was Christian Slater's volleyball camp.
110
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,934
This'll be the coolest party of the year!
111
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,401
‐ The Solar Opposites
have made it to London!
112
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,569
All right, shut up, follow me.
113
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,197
‐ Oh, so now he's calling us
"the Solar Opposites"?
114
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,115
‐ Oh, I cannot wait to meet
these new aliens.
115
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,784
Do you think they've been
studying hydron levels
116
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,160
or stratospheric particulates?
117
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,788
‐ Wow, both sound so cool, it's hard
to pick. Hopefully both?
118
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,414
‐ Oh my god, that would be amazing.
119
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,629
Hmm. That's odd.
120
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,466
Apparently, they live in the sewer
for some reason.
121
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,013
Oh!
122
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:08,851
Damn, look at that ship. It's... nice.
123
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,229
Hello? Is anyone here in distress?
124
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,107
‐ What are you doing? Get in here!
125
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,985
‐ Uh, we were following a distress call?
126
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,903
Doesn't seem like
you're in that much distress.
127
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,282
‐ I am Kabronius,
team leader of this ship.
128
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,534
‐ This is Zelvod, my co‐team leader,
129
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:28,161
and our replicants Tivo and Damasculon.
130
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,746
‐ Are you crazy? Where are your masks?
131
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,499
‐ I didn't know we needed masks.
I've been breathing air for over a year!
132
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,585
No,
133
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:37,296
the face masks are so
you can hide from the Terrans!
134
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,256
‐ We use these to walk amongst the Terrans
135
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,341
so they don't capture and dissect us.
136
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,343
‐ Where we live in America,
we don't wear masks.
137
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,012
We're noticeable almost all of the time.
138
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,930
‐ Yeah, our ship sticks out
of the top of our house,
139
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,058
and one time we covered
the whole town in ice lava.
140
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,310
So, they know us.
141
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:54,521
‐ B‐b‐but, you know, we also spend
a lot of time hiding from Terrans
142
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,522
as well.
‐ No, we don't.
143
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,608
‐ Aren't you scared that
the government will kidnap you?
144
00:05:57,608 --> 00:06:00,444
‐ Yes, all the time, we have
to be very careful around Terrans.
145
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,571
They're the aliens, a‐a‐am I right?
146
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:05,199
‐ I never thought of it like that.
They really are.
147
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,117
‐ Oh, oh, can we show them
the neutron array?
148
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,785
Please?
‐ Okay, okay.
149
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,246
It is very nice. We have
a very nice neutron array.
150
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,497
‐ Who calls it "terra"?
151
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,708
‐ Yeah, these dorks are real Korvos.
152
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,004
‐ And of course, the end
of any good ship tour,
153
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,089
the havacord meniscus.
154
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,299
‐ Is this dual sided?
155
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:25,844
‐ It is! This guy knows his stuff.
156
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,387
‐ Ugh, I wish I had a dual meniscus,
157
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,680
ours only emits from the left.
158
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,390
‐ Ah, so great. Hey, guys.
159
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,227
Do you wanna go eat tikka masala
and see some castles?
160
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,770
Maybe, uh, Ramsay some Gordons?
161
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:37,189
‐ Ooh yes! Let's go meet Pippa.
Nobody gets her.
162
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,942
‐ Oh, no, no, no. We survive
by creeping out at night
163
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,276
to find food in dumpsters.
164
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,779
If we get spotted, we erase people's minds
with a memory zapper.
165
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,531
‐ Eventually, we might infiltrate
the government
166
00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:46,990
and try brainwashing some people.
167
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,952
‐ Wow, then you could go work
in the government.
168
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,246
‐ This ship is so much nicer than ours,
169
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,831
not to mention our house is cluttered
with toys and magazines.
170
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:57,960
‐ Oh, we only allow Shlorpian items
to stay on the ship,
171
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,294
it reminds us of home.
172
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,380
‐ You hear that, Terry?
‐ "You hear that Terry?" Shut up, bitch.
173
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,299
‐ We were about to start
our hourly prayers. Care to join?
174
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,134
‐ Eh, we only pray on Easter
175
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,761
or when we think we're about to die.
176
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,346
And even then, we don't really mean it.
177
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,431
‐ I call dibs on the first
three hundred psalms!
178
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,224
‐ No fair!
179
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:16,603
‐ It is so good to know that
we aren't alone in this dangerous world.
180
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,147
Look, if you ever need
a Shlorpian place to stay,
181
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,232
our hatch is open.
182
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:23,277
We have tons of room
and all the eel trash you can eat.
183
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,195
‐ Thank you. And may I just say‐‐
184
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,573
‐ Ugh, can we please go already?
185
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,658
‐ Sorry. I just wanted
to thank you for being‐‐
186
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,076
‐ Korvo, I'm bored!
187
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,619
‐ Bye! Have fun!
188
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,790
‐ Looks like the Solar Opposites
are going to America!
189
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,418
Next time we're flying!
‐ No! I like the platform!
190
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,502
Ahh!
191
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,798
‐ Can you believe those weirdo
British aliens pray every hour?
192
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,134
Next time, let's just ignore
the distress signal.
193
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:50,345
Bunch of Jar Jar dinks.
Meesa gonna hide from Terrans!
194
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,681
‐ Those Shlorpians were exactly
the way we are supposed to be.
195
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,142
‐ Sneaking out at night
to dumpster dive for trash food?
196
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,476
Meesa gonna eat trash!
197
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,812
‐ They're basic.
We're extra, they're basic.
198
00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,438
‐ They were not!
199
00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:02,191
‐ I'm honestly surprised
they didn't have a flying saucer.
200
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:04,985
Alone Loser Fucks.
201
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,737
‐ They honor the proud traditions
of the home world
202
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,197
and from now on, so do we.
203
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,365
We're all meditating around
the obsidian candle tonight
204
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:11,408
as a family.
205
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,160
‐ Yeah, right, pass.
‐ Hard pass.
206
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,329
‐ This is important! It's who we are!
It's our heritage.
207
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,663
‐ You've gone just as native as we have.
208
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,333
‐ Yeah, you like Pizza Hut stuffed crust
as much as we do.
209
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,210
You even bought a gym membership
and you never went.
210
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:23,086
‐ You're sort of like
a fake alien, you know.
211
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,630
‐ You two are fake aliens!
212
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,675
‐ Ugh, what are you doing?
213
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,302
‐ I'm moving to ye olde London town
214
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,387
to live with the aliens
that appreciate me!
215
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,265
‐ That guy really turns
on a dime, doesn't he?
216
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,517
‐ He's tough to manage.
217
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:40,187
‐ We're so happy you've decided
to be a part of our mission, Korvo.
218
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:44,608
‐ You seem like a Shlorpian lasered
from the same zarb as us.
219
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:47,486
‐ Oh, it's nice to be around a team
that's preserved our culture
220
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,530
and keeps our culture preserved,
you know.
221
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,866
‐ Just think of this ship as
a comforting piece of the home world.
222
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,286
Now let's circle around the grangnar
and hit ourselves with ropes.
223
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,413
‐ That sounds wonderful.
224
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,752
Oh, it hurts so good.
225
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:04,837
‐ Are you sure‐‐
Ow!
226
00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,964
‐ your old teammates are okay with you‐‐
Ow!
227
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,382
‐ joining us?
Ow!
228
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,300
‐ Something tells me‐‐
Ow‐
229
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,427
‐ they're already regretting
being dicks to me.
230
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,264
‐ I'm never taking off
my Poe Dameron jammies ever again!
231
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,850
Hey, oh, what are you going to do
now that Korvo's dead, I mean gone?
232
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:20,769
‐ I adopted a high‐maintenance
elderly dog!
233
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,355
We're going to have to spend a lot of time
cleaning out her ears,
234
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,482
putting lotion in her butt,
squeezing the anals,
235
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,943
all the responsibility
I've been begging for!
236
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,363
‐ You wanna play with the gold machine?
237
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,323
‐ Korvo would hate that, let's do it!
238
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,285
‐ Ah!
239
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:41,832
‐ Whee!
240
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,252
Korvo would be so mad
that I'm rolling in all this gold!
241
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,839
‐ I just canceled the family cell plan
and switched us over to Boost Mobile!
242
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,465
It comes with Crackle Plus!
243
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,468
They got all of Adam Sandler's
friends' movies but none of his.
244
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,470
‐ What the hell? I thought
you guys were in London.
245
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,973
‐ Korvo left the family,
and I got a basset hound.
246
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:58,891
‐ I don't give a shit!
247
00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:01,685
A bunch of cool kids are coming over
for a sleepover this weekend,
248
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,020
so can you please just be chill?
249
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,939
‐ Hey, maybe they'll want
to have a gold fight!
250
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,443
‐ Guys, don't embarrass me!
No giving out gold!
251
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:12,613
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
252
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:17,951
This is amazing!
We're gonna be eating trash for a week!
253
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,995
‐ I didn't see any Terran soldiers,
254
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:21,496
I think we avoided detection.
255
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:25,042
‐ Uh‐uh‐uh, just a thought,
but maybe they aren't hunting you?
256
00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:28,462
‐ Yeah, right, that sounds like
human lover talk.
257
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,840
Hey, Korvo, why don't you recite
the holy number before we dig in?
258
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,218
‐ Oh, it's an honor!
259
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,387
Eight, seven, five.
260
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:41,767
Z‐zero... uh... it's zero
and then... f‐four?
261
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,436
No, three. I'm sorry, I‐I haven't said
the holy number for a while.
262
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:45,938
‐ What, you don't say it at home?
263
00:10:45,938 --> 00:10:47,856
‐ Of course I do, it's just‐‐
L‐let me think.
264
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,982
Eight, seven, four‐‐
265
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,943
No, five, seven‐‐
266
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:53,195
‐ You sound like a sproutling!
‐ "Fuh‐fuh‐fuh four?"
267
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,530
‐ It's a non‐repeating number.
268
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:56,114
‐ Oh, you really have gone native.
269
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,785
‐ Oh no. Am I the "Terry" of this team?
No, that's impossible.
270
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:03,247
‐ Are you narrating to yourself
like you're the star of a TV show?
271
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:05,165
‐ Oh god, I am the Terry!
272
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,877
‐ Jesse! Where do we keep money?
273
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,296
We have a huge Postmates bill
from ordering all those ketchup packets.
274
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,798
‐ Can't we just use the gold machine?
275
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,466
‐ Whoa, whoa, what's, what's with you,
are you poisoned?
276
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:17,886
‐ Ugh, the dog is so high maintenance,
I didn't sleep at all.
277
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:18,512
Ahh!
278
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,556
Noooo!
279
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:22,391
It thinks I'm a toy.
280
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,559
But I'm not.
281
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,519
I just look like one!
282
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,563
‐ Aw, man, the whole thing
just turned to gold!
283
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,147
How am I supposed to make gold now?
284
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,232
Stupid piece of crap.
285
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:32,150
‐ Hey! This is Andrew from Postmates!
286
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,485
You owe me fifty thousand dollars!
287
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,529
‐ When did they get
so intense about billing?
288
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,281
‐ Turns out it's actually pretty hard
to get your side hustle on.
289
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:41,577
Ugh, without Korvo here to fix
our gold machine or fight our creditors,
290
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:43,328
I guess I gotta find a job.
291
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,875
‐ The customer comes in,
they pick their cookie,
292
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,002
they pick their ookie,
you weigh it, then you charge ‘em.
293
00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:51,086
‐ Yeah, when do I get paid?
294
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:54,882
‐ End of the month, but, but you get
free ookie after closing
295
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,383
'cause it gets crusty if we don't use it.
296
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,928
‐ Hey, stop limping the biscuits!
You have to pay for that!
297
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,057
‐ K‐Kabronius, c‐can I talk
to you for a second?
298
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,809
‐ Well, of course, Korvo, what's up?
299
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,645
‐ I‐I‐I want this team to accept me
as a dedicated Shlorpian.
300
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:11,356
Is there any role I can fill?
D‐d‐do you need a ship repair guy?
301
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,610
‐ What we need is a Pupa specialist.
302
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,905
‐ Oh. Where's your Pupa?
I‐I‐I could try that. I‐I could do that.
303
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,656
‐ We don't have one.
304
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,741
‐ W‐what happened to it?
305
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,534
‐ We never had one to begin with.
306
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,328
We left before they were fully designed.
307
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:25,412
Rich people don't wait for anything.
308
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,873
‐ You weren't assigned a Pupa
when you escaped the home world?
309
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:30,167
‐ No, it went a little differently for us.
310
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,377
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
311
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,130
Some Shlorpians were workers,
bred for duty and servitude.
312
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,089
What? We were?
313
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,175
Others were an unseen ruling class
314
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,177
of wealthy leisure addicts.
315
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,804
Us rich aliens were given a heads‐up
about the asteroid
316
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,598
about a month before it hit.
317
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:48,435
We bought expensive ships
and left way, way, way in advance.
318
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,729
We landed on an already populated planet
319
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:54,191
and have been waiting for one
of the Pupa crews to terraform it
320
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,944
so we can get back to being rich.
321
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:59,404
‐ I've never heard of rich,
non‐working Shlorpians.
322
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,614
‐ That's why it worked so great.
323
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,325
‐ If you don't have a Pupa,
then why do you need a specialist?
324
00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:04,660
‐ We need a Pupa.
325
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:07,996
Terry's clearly gone native,
he can't be a good guardian.
326
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,874
I mean, wouldn't the Pupa be happier
with true Shlorpians,
327
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:13,085
terraforming a fresh planet?
328
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:14,086
‐ It does sound better.
329
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,421
‐ We want you to rescue your Pupa,
330
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,132
bring it to us,
so we can have a new life.
331
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,760
‐ A new Shlorpian life.
332
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,429
‐ I‐I'll do it.
First, we must Pupa‐proof the ship.
333
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,973
He likes to stick his nub in sockets.
334
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,516
He will eat anything that's blue.
335
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,185
‐ Man, I hate working at Ookie Cookie.
336
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:32,938
It is way more demeaning
than the name implies.
337
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:35,065
And these Poe Dameron jammies
are starting to stink.
338
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,608
‐ I think the basset hound hates me.
339
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,862
It makes me wear this collar
and keeps burying me in the backyard.
340
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:40,904
‐ That's it!
341
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,240
Okay, look. If we dress
and act like Korvo,
342
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,117
maybe we'll be better
at taking care of ourselves.
343
00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:47,494
‐ So we have to repair the ship
and complain a lot?
344
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,954
Why did you say "that's it"?
345
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,664
‐ Oh, it's just always what I say
when I think of something.
346
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,207
Let's get to work.
347
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,211
Okay, what would Korvo say?
348
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,255
"Terry! Stop sucking on cereal
and having fun!"
349
00:13:58,255 --> 00:14:00,382
'No way, you're not my dad."
"Do what I fuckin' say!"
350
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,176
"I'll be in my room!"
‐ I hate this.
351
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,927
‐ There you go,
now you're sounding like Korvo.
352
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,929
‐ All my cool friends
are three hours late.
353
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,806
I think I gave them the wrong address!
354
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:10,642
I'm taking the Yeet Detector
and going out to find them.
355
00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:13,687
Yeet. Yeet. Yeet.
356
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,439
‐ Terry hates dealing
with the Pupa anyway.
357
00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:16,773
He's going to be so happy.
358
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:18,901
Hmm?
359
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,777
Terry? W‐why did I have to BoostTime you?
360
00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,279
Did you sign up with Boost Mobile?
361
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,281
‐ Yes, it's just one of many mistakes
we've made since you left!
362
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:26,783
‐ Korvo, we messed up.
We really need you and miss you,
363
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,660
and I'm afraid I'm going
to get eaten by a dog.
364
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,704
‐ What dog? I‐I told you
no dogs in the house
365
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,831
until I figure out how to make them
see me as the alpha!
366
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:34,416
Are you guys wearing ceremonial garb?
367
00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,335
‐ Please come home. You were right.
You were right!
368
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,295
‐ We'll be better, Korvo! We miss you!
369
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,588
‐ You really miss me?
370
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:41,256
And if I came home, you wouldn't shame me
371
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:43,133
for not knowing
the sacred non‐repeating number?
372
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,177
‐ No. What the fuck are you talking about?
373
00:14:45,177 --> 00:14:46,261
No, we need your help.
374
00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,347
We're pieces of shit without you!
375
00:14:48,347 --> 00:14:50,390
‐ Wow. Admitting you're wrong,
begging me to help,
376
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,893
calling yourselves pieces of shit,
this is what I've always wanted!
377
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,811
I'll be home soon, stay miserable!
378
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:57,105
Yeet, yeet, yeet, yeet, yeet‐‐
379
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:01,610
‐ Jaeden! You guys are
accidentally partying at the wrong house!
380
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:03,487
‐ Aw, man. He found us.
381
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:06,114
‐ Nobody wants to go to a sleepover
with an ugly blue alien
382
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,407
that smells like a penis.
383
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,577
I told you to have that sleepover
so you wouldn't find out about our party.
384
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,663
‐ But... you said I was cool.
385
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:14,373
‐ Oh, you're not, you suck.
386
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:15,874
And to add some injury to insult,
387
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,709
fuck you, you little blue bitch!
388
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:23,465
‐ Korvo! Ready to scoop up the Pupa?
389
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,342
‐ I've changed my mind,
you can't have the Pupa.
390
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:26,593
‐ But, uh, isn't Terry an idiot?
391
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:29,638
‐ Yes, but he's a part of my team.
And it's my job to lead them.
392
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:30,973
‐ What about the plan?
393
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:34,351
When will you terraform so we can
get back to living our secret rich lives?
394
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,769
‐ You'll just have to keep doing
what you're doing
395
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,688
and wait for the Pupa
to evolve just like us.
396
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,315
K‐Kabronius! What the hell!
397
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,150
Let me out of here!
398
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,278
‐ No! That Pupa belongs to us!
399
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:46,780
Ow, you're heavy.
‐ Fuck you.
400
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,324
Don't you touch my Pupa,
you rich fucks!
401
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,203
Let me out of here!
402
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,999
‐ The Pupa will be happier
in a team of real Shlorpians.
403
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,168
‐ Fuck you, Zelvod!
You're a piece of shit! You hear me?
404
00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:01,253
Fuck all of you!
You're a bunch of hacky ALFs!
405
00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:03,922
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
406
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,513
Damn it! Wait, the sacred number.
407
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:14,016
Eight, five, nine, four, two‐‐
408
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,227
‐ Pupa detected, coordinates locked.
409
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,439
‐ Five, two, damn it, six!
410
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,774
Ha! I knew that stupid number
the whole time!
411
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,318
Who's an idiot now?
412
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,445
Fuck! Eight, five,
seven, nine, four, two‐‐
413
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,033
‐ Alien climbing up out of the sewer, huh?
414
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,785
What a time to be alive!
415
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,704
Welcome to the UK.
‐ Which way to the Ferris wheel?
416
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,332
‐ Take you forever on foot, love.
Come on, I'll give you a ride.
417
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,354
I thought he was going to roll it
like a big wheel,
418
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:04,608
but I guess that lack of creativity
is why I'm just a cop.
419
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,743
‐ Give us your Pupa!
420
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:15,744
‐ Okay, why?
421
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:18,330
‐ Talking is getting us nowhere.
Lethal force!
422
00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,380
‐ Fuck you, you're never
gonna get our Pupa.
423
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,382
Activate auto defenses!
424
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,609
‐ On my count, unleash sci‐fi hell!
425
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,946
Three, two, one‐‐
426
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:59,621
♪ jazz music playing ♪
427
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,791
‐ Jesus, shit. That was
the craziest battle I've ever been in.
428
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,293
And all in one unbroken take?
429
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,295
That must have cost a million dollars!
430
00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:08,797
‐ Give us the Pupa
and we'll stop shooting at you.
431
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,091
‐ Let's just blast him and take the Pupa.
432
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:18,140
‐ Stop, stop! You can have the Pupa,
433
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,892
but we need to tell you
how to take care of it.
434
00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:21,685
If it dies, you won't get
to be rich and lazy.
435
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,437
‐ All right, fine! You have 30 seconds!
436
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:26,440
‐ Korvo! The Pupa's like our baby.
437
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,608
You can't give him away.
438
00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:28,901
‐ Shut up. I'm team leader.
439
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,820
And these guys have never seen
a Pupa before.
440
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:32,362
‐ So?
441
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:35,115
‐ In case this doesn't work, go hide
under the covers with this gun.
442
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:44,249
Here's the Pupa. Tha‐tha‐that's
the whole Pupa, right there.
443
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,667
‐ Wait.
444
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,086
It's even cuter than I imagined!
445
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,923
It's an honor to meet you, oh noble Pupa.
446
00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:52,925
‐ The Pupa needs to be walked
four times a day.
447
00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:55,302
Don't forget, or she'll pee
where you don't want her to.
448
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,304
Make sure to wipe its tushy
with a wet wipe.
449
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,389
You have to boil fresh chicken
and rice for her.
450
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,475
‐ Uh‐huh, slow down.
‐ Fresh, or she gets hives.
451
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:04,269
Also, I'm so sorry,
but her ears are a mess!
452
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:05,270
‐ Slow down. Slow down.
453
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,981
‐ Wow, way to not know
the basics of Pupa care.
454
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:09,650
‐ So how do we make it evolve
and terraform?
455
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:12,194
‐ If it's not terraforming, that just
means you aren't making it happy enough.
456
00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:16,198
‐ We will dedicate our entire lives
to pleasing this creature.
457
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,991
‐ Okay, good luck!
Oh, and every time it barks,
458
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,409
you have to punch yourself in the face.
459
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:20,577
‐ He's right, that's true.
460
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,872
‐ Oh!
461
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:25,457
‐ Ah!
462
00:19:25,791 --> 00:19:27,125
‐ Ah!
463
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,797
‐ Oh. Something just fell out
of its stinking hole.
464
00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:34,716
‐ That must mean it's ready
to start terraforming!
465
00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:38,762
Ow!
466
00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:42,432
‐ What happened to you?
‐ The cool kids threw me in a tree,
467
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:44,935
so I'm going to kill them
with my satellite.
468
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:50,858
‐ I thought you used that thing to look
for ladies sun‐tanning on their roofs.
469
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,609
‐ Yeah, well, now I'm going
to use it to melt bullies.
470
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,528
Ahem!
‐ Uh, who are you?
471
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,154
‐ I'm Daryl. Here for the sleepover.
472
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,073
‐ Wha‐‐ You are?
‐ Yeah, y'all still doing that?
473
00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:00,868
‐ Nobody else showed up.
‐ Oh good, I hate people anyway.
474
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,202
‐ So do I!
475
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,955
Hey, you wanna see
the wall full of adults I've shrunk?
476
00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:06,999
‐ Sure.
477
00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:09,001
Oh, so it's like an ant farm, huh?
478
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:10,711
‐ Yeah, I know, it's dumb.
479
00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:11,920
‐ No, no, no, I like it.
480
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,299
Hey, you wanna play games on our phones
and talk shit about people?
481
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,801
‐ Yes, a billion times, yes.
482
00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:20,429
‐ That was a crazy day.
483
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,973
‐ Hey, you know what. I‐I'm just glad
everything is back to normal.
484
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:24,558
We all learned a lesson.
485
00:20:24,558 --> 00:20:26,268
Feels good. Feels good in here
486
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:27,603
and feels good down here.
487
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:31,481
‐ The lesson I learned today
is to start doubling down on being strict
488
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,525
and being even more dedicated
to the mission than ever before.
489
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:34,443
‐ Korvo, no!
490
00:20:34,443 --> 00:20:36,320
‐ Yes! That way I'll never feel like
some other alien
491
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,779
is more orthodox than me ever again!
492
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:40,032
‐ Well, then I'm going to double down
on being shallow and trashy
493
00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:40,991
just to cancel you out.
494
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:41,742
‐ No, don't do that!
495
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:43,452
‐ I do what I want, son! I'm li'l Terry.
496
00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:44,453
‐ I'm team leader, that's an order!
497
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:45,537
‐ I don't care.
I don't care. I don't care.
498
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:46,496
‐ Fuck you, Terry!
‐ I can't hear you.
499
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,917
‐ Oh Jesus, was that the Pupa's gun?
500
00:20:49,917 --> 00:20:51,960
‐ No... no, no, no, no, no, no!
501
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,588
‐ Holy shit.
502
00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:55,672
The Pupa killed a Robocop!
503
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:58,300
‐ Oh, I am so proud of you!
504
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:02,387
♪ theme music playing ♪